Ministry, Midterms and Misery.

This week has been hell for everyone here at Summit as we got ever so blessed with these little celebrations of learning called 'Midterm Exams'. Stress levels were high and ever so friendly faces were burdened with late nights and stress. On top of this Sunday was a horrible day for a lot of people as they lost on of their friends. A graduate from here died on Sunday after battling bacterial meningitis. I didn't know her but watching everyone grieve and today while I was at the memorial service for her I realized that this wasn't just anybody. This was a 22 year girl who was just embarking on life and that even then she had touched so many peoples lives. It was just so real and makes you think about life and how the father could be taking us home any second.
Almost directly after the wildfire of midterms had been drenched I got a phone call. This was not a good phone call; farthest thing from it. I got some news that I'm not sure how to deal with. I'm not going to elaborate here or now, but if you know me and read the newspaper you know. I feel so numb to life right now. Almost like I'm not living it because what has happened it just so left field that I don't even know what to do with it.
Yesterday I seriously just felt as though God hated me. I feel as though in my life I never seem to get a break and for the first time it got to me. I see so many people who have it all together and don't have this crap happen but then I look at my own life and I wonder why? I look at in retrospect and I realize, there is no answer to why, and that God doesn't hate me. Bad things happen all the time to everybody and God isn't here to prevent them, but rather to lessen the blow and carry us through them. Its neat really, I think about my life and just how the odds have basically always been against me but somehow, with the grace of God I have made it here and even though some days I hate it here, it is so apparent that here is where I need to be. God has meticulously placed me here and I know that just by the ministries he has placed me in. They are a perfect fit for the passions that are in my heart. The Punjabi youth group is amazing and the youth there are so fun - even though the numbers never exceed 6. Kidreach in Vancouver is amazing because its bus ministry and that is me. Life here isn't perfect - but when is life ever perfect? I'm basically just running on faith right now, but is that really a bad thing? I don't think so.