Home/return

So I just got back to school from a fantastic five days in Kelowna. I miss it there so much but I've decided I'm not going to let that consume me anymore. School isn't that bad, it is just hard when crap is going on. I've decided I need to start embracing this place while I'm here and soaking it all in.
Anyways, just a brief update on my vacation home. I had so much fun, I didn't quite get to see some people as much as I would have liked to though, which I'll admit sucked out loud but you can't always get what you want. I saw a certain someone a lot though which made my life oh so much better. I've discovered that I have become more self-conscious about who I am around him now. Its weird because I could have cared less before. Whatever though, I'll get over it I'm just being a loser right now.
Now for being back. I've been back for a whole two days and already I know that this last part of semester one is going to be better. As hard as it can be for some people to believe, I needed to go home. There is no question about it, I am an independent person and as much as I know I need people to help me through things when it comes down to it I need to also take time by myself and here I just couldn't do that. I thank God that I had the opportunity to go home.
I find that with everything that's going on I have started to feel so self conscious, its weird. I mean I've never quite been one to be overly obsessed with how others view me but I have been. I can't really help it I just feel like I'm not good enough for anyone or anything. Its weird though because as much as I feel this way I know its not true. I know that God doesn't see me as worthless and even though its hard to believe that, just knowing it helps. Sometimes life is hard to love, but I think in these times we need to remember why we're living it. That helps me anyways.